This is the worst day


5secondsofsummer-fanpage:

Pretty sure All Time Low just sit there waiting for a member of 5SOS to tweet something so they can wittily reply.

(via oopsxashton)


folieaboo:

pro tip: don’t name your fish after band members because one time my dad called me to tell me gerard died and i started crying

(via guy)


southpauz:

True story.

When I was in 7th Grade, I almost set an Elementary School on fire while trying to microwave a cookie.

I was working at the concessions stand during a basketball tournament (my team was required to work because the tournament was being hosted in my School district), and, because I was hungry, I decided to use the microwave to heat up my cookie. My teeth were very sore due to me getting dental braces that week, so I decided to microwave it for a minute so it could be really soft.

It set on fire. 

The smoke alarm went off throughout the school.

The sprinkler system went off.

Basketball games that were going on at the time were cancelled.

Everyone had to evacuate the school and wait for the Police and Fire Department to show up. 

I JUST WANTED A COOKIE.

(via smallkatiej)


melongorl:

diancie:

cumomelet:

mcgriddles:

probablynotinsane:

YALL SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE LOUISVILLE ZOO AND LET OUT A GIRAFFE

Is this fuckinf real? Are you fucking kidding me?

Is this real tho

Someone deliver it to me.

what tf do u want a giraffe for

melongorl:

diancie:

cumomelet:

mcgriddles:

probablynotinsane:

YALL SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE LOUISVILLE ZOO AND LET OUT A GIRAFFE

Is this fuckinf real? Are you fucking kidding me?

Is this real tho

Someone deliver it to me.

what tf do u want a giraffe for

(via tinkers-cuss)


j5h:

euo:

When I was in middle school I would put my Ice cream in a bowl and microwave it until it was hot and eat it like hot soup

image

(via itsa-goodlife-hazelgrace)


kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

(via itsa-goodlife-hazelgrace)


pickmeupn0w:

astrospection:

ATTENTION: SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW. THIS IS NOT OK I HAVE FOUR DOGS AND I WOULD KILL THE BASTARD WHO TRIES TO HARM THEM OR ANY OTHER ANIMAL. SIGNAL BOOST PLEASE.


WOW IF YOU TRY TO KILL A DOG HOW ABOUT YOU KILL YOURSELF FIRST WORTHLESS SCUM

pickmeupn0w:

astrospection:

ATTENTION: SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW. THIS IS NOT OK I HAVE FOUR DOGS AND I WOULD KILL THE BASTARD WHO TRIES TO HARM THEM OR ANY OTHER ANIMAL. SIGNAL BOOST PLEASE.

WOW IF YOU TRY TO KILL A DOG HOW ABOUT YOU KILL YOURSELF FIRST WORTHLESS SCUM

(via shenananananigans)



mulaneysbutt:

"But it’s very strange. Cause this is the first time I’ve ever seen a law change because the government was just like, ‘*sigh*… fine’."

Mulaney: An Opening Act Preview Special | (x)

(via magicaldiscocunt)


wxldflower:

ssweet-dispositionn:

lilith-not-eve:

Marrying young is not the end of my freedom. It means I want to travel and see the world, but with her by my side. It means I still like drinking in bars and dancing in clubs, but stumbling home with her at 2am and eating pizza in our underwear. It means I know that I want to kiss those lips every morning, and every night before bed. If you see marriage as the end of your ‘freedom’, you’re doing it wrong.

Omg

applause for you omg

(via winchesters-into-the-tardis)


franklyitsscarlett:

Andy’s toys couldn’t have gone to a more deserving child.

(via oneil-scatter-the-nuns)


exteriors:

i am the almost empty shampoo bottle in the shower of life

(via shenananananigans)


slayboybunny:

ya hes cute…….but is he conscientious of the social inequalities and corruption in hierarchies of power that plague this world

(via shenananananigans)


castiel-is-wonderful:

sionainnlindsay:

castiel-is-wonderful:

WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP

IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S 

LIKE BELONGING TO MR

OMG

Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.

This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me 

(via michaelsallamerican)